Oh, how lovely it is to reminisce on my failures as a dater/datee. Every time I dig into my ice cold heart and bring up a story, it warms my soul just a little to remind myself that what happened is the past and I will make better decisions next time… Not. It’s probably the warm bath warming my insides.
When I went away to university I was dating my high school boyfriend. We will call him High School Boyfriend (HSB for laziness sake and for obvious reasons). He was an alright guy. I mean, I came from a small town, so it was slim pickings when it came to dating, but all said and done, he’s an alright guy. He went to a different school than I did, so we tried the long distance thing… for 17 days.
I ended things with HSB over the phone (texting wasn’t cool yet) and he lost it (I don’t blame him, I’m pretty awesome). He climbed in a friends window, kicked a garbage can and threw the ID bracelet I had given him in said garbage can. I told him the distance was too hard and I was too busy with school. Before I reveal this, please understand, I was 18. In actuality, I met a sexy boy-man and wanted to date him. Throw tomatoes at me if you want but I will dodge them like a ninja. College guy was nice, independent, funny, sweet, attentive, and just plain awesome in this small town girls eyes.
College Guy and I began dating almost immediately after I broke up with HSB (never a good idea people). It didn’t last long, it only took me a couple weeks to see the annoying things pop up (crass, no class, and all about getting ass – and not with me). Needless to say, it was a great decision to end things with HSB because he went super-stage five snd called all my friends to check up on me and even my mother (to thank her for always being so kind to him). He ended the conversation with my Mom by saying he would win me back… so I shouldn’t have been surprised when he showed up at my house three months later in the middle of the night. Right?
No wonder my dating life is so messed up. I’ve been making subpar decisions since before I even began to throw sex into the mix. Either way, HSB was out of the picture and recently stopped holding a grudge on me and added me to Facebook. Where I creeped the h-e-double hockey sticks out of his fiance and three children. I won this battle though because when I broke up with him Daddy let me use his credit card to buy a couple new outfits. Booya.