Tag Archives: Relationships

Island, Round #2

When I finally gave up on “big city” me and moved back to Victoria I started doing the exact same thing I did in Vancouver… Making horrible decisions. While in Vancouver I would say “Tonight I’m going to play a game called Bad Decisions”. That phrase carried across the straight, packed neatly in my luggage and tucked in my brain like a … well, bad idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go out and find one night stands, start twerking on strangers, or become addicted to meth or crack cocaine, I’m just a lowly sales girl after all, not a Mayor. I just didn’t care if I was rejected, I flirted with no sense of shame, and I talked to who I wanted, when I wanted.

Before I sunk to making another online dating profile I started flirting with the idea of meeting someone in “real life”.  Well, I met an array of unimportant players in my life. Read, they don’t matter anymore and barely left a blip on my radar. A few fun facts did come from them though, please be aware, these are awesome factoids:

  • It is possible to find a dust bunny the size of an actual bunny in some men’s homes. Not pleasant. If you can’t clean your house, what else aren’t you cleaning?
  • If someone calls you a conundrum, run away. Fast.
  • Men who play guitars are 61.8% more attractive. Always.
  • Boys like nail polish on your nails, it gives them something to look at other than your cleavage as you’re telling stories.
  • Dating someone who feels they need to ask your ex-boyfriend if they can date you is never a good idea. No more drama, mamas.
  • Drama is always invited in, rarely does she just show up and make herself at home uninvited.
  • Accountants are boring. Always.
  • If someone says they are a professional athlete, google them. If they’re not on google, it’s a lie.
  • If a man has a beard he is sexier. Always.
  • Always shave your legs, this is just a life fact. No reason behind it. But y’all should know shaving legs is not optional.
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December 22, 2013 · 5:42 PM

This is Me!

First of all, I should let you all know that I’m just an average Jane. I work a full time job (sales), a part time job (cocktail servant), workout a few times a week (realistically, a few times a month), eat semi-healthily (I love me a grilled cheese), enjoy an active social life (beer pong anyone?), and try to be a decent human being. I also have the good grace to be decent looking. I’ve never had any complaints and often get mistaken for a university student of 23 (booya, my genes are holding strong), even though I am 22 months shy of 30, not that I’m counting or anything.

Second of all, why am I doing this? Well, let me tell you dear reader, I’m doing this because everyone needs to know that they are not alone in this ridiculous dating game called “finding the one”. Plus, you can laugh at me and feel better about your miserable love life (hopefully, yours is full of flowers and shoes and love and laughing and all that shit that I’m jealous of, though).

Third of all, How did I get here? Well, I was perfectly content in my four year relationship until I realized I wasn’t. And let me tell you, when that thought slips into your head it’s like a disease that you can’t get rid of (herpes, for example). Anyways, we obviously broke up (mutually, because I’m a boss like that), and now I’m dating (for over three years, I will add).

Last of all, with all this being said, although my life is like a comedic movie, I love my life. The things that happen in my life belong in a play, or a movie, or a novel, or on a talk show; either way, these are my stories, and it’s my life and it is sassy and shitty as all sin. Sorry not sorry.

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Filed under Dating, Love Life Problems