When I finally gave up on “big city” me and moved back to Victoria I started doing the exact same thing I did in Vancouver… Making horrible decisions. While in Vancouver I would say “Tonight I’m going to play a game called Bad Decisions”. That phrase carried across the straight, packed neatly in my luggage and tucked in my brain like a … well, bad idea.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go out and find one night stands, start twerking on strangers, or become addicted to meth or crack cocaine, I’m just a lowly sales girl after all, not a Mayor. I just didn’t care if I was rejected, I flirted with no sense of shame, and I talked to who I wanted, when I wanted.
Before I sunk to making another online dating profile I started flirting with the idea of meeting someone in “real life”. Well, I met an array of unimportant players in my life. Read, they don’t matter anymore and barely left a blip on my radar. A few fun facts did come from them though, please be aware, these are awesome factoids:
- It is possible to find a dust bunny the size of an actual bunny in some men’s homes. Not pleasant. If you can’t clean your house, what else aren’t you cleaning?
- If someone calls you a conundrum, run away. Fast.
- Men who play guitars are 61.8% more attractive. Always.
- Boys like nail polish on your nails, it gives them something to look at other than your cleavage as you’re telling stories.
- Dating someone who feels they need to ask your ex-boyfriend if they can date you is never a good idea. No more drama, mamas.
- Drama is always invited in, rarely does she just show up and make herself at home uninvited.
- Accountants are boring. Always.
- If someone says they are a professional athlete, google them. If they’re not on google, it’s a lie.
- If a man has a beard he is sexier. Always.
- Always shave your legs, this is just a life fact. No reason behind it. But y’all should know shaving legs is not optional.